OK, you are going to want to sit down for this one...

I suppose it should come as no great shock that I, Chris Mohr, am a film lover. I have been for as long as I can remember. My collection is far more expansive than any normal, sane person's should be, filled with VHS tapes bought in shady conventions, VCDs from shady stores in Chinatown, and DVDs from the shadiest parts of Ebay. I have been in the video production business for almost 13 years, worked at a TV station for an uncomfortable amount of time, and just, in general, live for motion pictures.

With that being said (or typed, as it were), the one genre of film that I have never really gotten into was Bollywood. I'm not sure what kept me from the films, because on paper I should love them. They are creative, fun, crazy, musical extravaganza's that put the viewer's sanity at a serious risk of being lost. There is no bounds in Bollywood, no too far, nothing that is too strange. Come up with the most off the wall, stupid, crack potted thought you can have. Got it? Is it a monkey doctor falling in love with a shark nurse while flying in a 1920's styled spaceship? It is now, isn't it? Here is the amazing thing about Bollywood, they would film that. Then put a musical number after it because it didn't go far enough.

Nurse Finn, you have sent my heart into Warp Speed.

It is because of this lack of self control, the inability to to say an idea is too weird to be filmed, that a film like Eega can get made. No, scratch that, it is the reason a movie like Eega could even be talked about in the first place. Now I am going to warn you, you will think that I am making up parts of this movie, or that I am being snarky, or sarcastic in my review; nothing could be further form the truth. Everything I am about to type is true. This movie exists, and the world is a much better place because of it. SO sit back and strap yourself in, cause things is about to get cwazzzy up in here.

Eega is the story of a young man in India, who is madly in love with the girl across the street. She is beautiful, kind, and pure, and he is helpless against her charms. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem to be too into him, but he is undaunted. At first this seemed sweet, but the movie does overplay its hand a little bit, and the guy, Nani, becomes a little stalkeresque after a while. But, to be fair, I can't blame him in the least.

Tell me you wouldn't stalk her. You lie.

His advances go unanswered for two years, before Nani finally wins over the beautiful Bindu thru song and dance (it's Bollywood, don't over think it) and she admits her love for him. It just so happens however that he is unable to answer her because a local gangster is busy murdering him because he wants to get all up in Bindu's Underoos. But never fear! Nani is far from out of the movie, for this is India, and Bollywood, and crazy shit makes sense here. Nani is reincarnated right after his untimely death as a normal sized house fly.

And with that move, the wheel of Karma proves to be a fickle mistress, does it not?

Nanifly still retains Naniman's memories and personality, so he decides to find his true love, and win her back, but oooh snaps, local murderer businessman gangster is making the moves on Nani's would be girlfriend. What is a housefly to do?

If you answered try to kill him, then you have either seen this movie or are far enough away from sanity that I don't trust you around kids.

Yes, Nanifly decides to kill the gangster, and does manage a lot of damage, including a really spectacular car crash, leading Nanifly to write the words "I will kill you" on the windshield of the destroyed car as the gangster lied bleeding inside. Why Hollywood didn't tell this story I will never know.

Nani fly finds Bindu mourning the death of his human shell, and, using her tears, writes her a message that he is the fly, which is something I just typed. Re-read it if you want. She accepts him, and his love, and makes him tiny implements of murder, so he can avenge his death.

Will Nanifly pull off the murder of a full grown adult, even though he is but a tiny fly? Can he keep the heart of the beautiful Bindu? How will sex work? Seriously?

Well, that may answer one or more of my questions.

Now I know what I just wrote, and  I know what I just watched, but I also know that there are no words that can describe how amazingly off the wall this movie is. It is a love story and a revenge story about a fly. And here is the thing, it is done with a straight face (or as straight of a face as you get with Bollywood, every film is fairly silly there) if at any point the actors had looked at the camera and winked, the whole movie would have fallen apart, never to be put back together. Of course the story is bizarre like a bag full or mittens, but it wants to tell a story, and by god it is going to do that come hell or high water. And by the end of the film, you do find yourself caring for a bug, and wanting him to win the girl, despite the fact that sex can be nothing sort of un-nerving.

As for the film itself, I found the acting and cinematography to be really well done, although the SFX could have used a bit more polish (I will not hold that against the film though, Bollywood is not known for complex CGI effects, although it would seem recently they have been trying some out). In my copy I found the lacks to be way too compressed, although I am not sure if that is a fault of the movie or the person who made a copy of it. The music was every enjoyable as well, which is good, cause there is a LOT of it.

All in all, I really enjoyed myself watching Eega, in fact, I dare say I had more fun watching this movie than I have had since watching The Avengers, which is saying a lot, as I have watched a metric ton of films between now and then. I am not, however, sure if this film is for everyone, obviously the subtitles are going to be hard for some people to get past, and the odd, odd, odd subject matter. But if you can get past those minor hurdles, you will find a well crafted, brilliantly told love story that keeps you rooting for the good guy and loathing the bad guy, and keeps a smile planted firmly on your face from beginning to end.

Grade - A

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