Death Ship - 1980

Those who watch this film are better off dead!

For those of you who are too young to remember, at one point George Kennedy was a very, very respected actor. In fact, in 1968 he won an Oscar for his role in Cool Hand Luke. The Dirty Dozen, The Flight of the Phoenix Airport, in the 60's and 70's George Kennedy was a solid name, a name you could trust, a name you could bank on.

Then came the 80's.

Scientists will never know exactly what happened to George Kennedy in the 80's, it is a mystery for the ages. Why did a respected actor go from Cool Hand Luke, to The Gambler 3: The Legend Continues? He...wait...when did John Lennon die? (Google search) 1980...so Yoko finds herself single in the same year George Kennedy's career falls apart? Coincidence? Probably. Or is that what Yoko Ono wants you to think?

"You should do a movie that makes you feel like a song flying in a field of memories that scream for the embrace of the mighty, towering trees. Also, Death Street USA." -Yoko Ono - Probably.

Whatever the reason, be it Yoko Ono or less intriguing rolls being offered to an aging actor, Kennedy's career fell hard in the 80's, and, so far as I can see, Death Ship was the harbinger of his downfall. This film from 1980 follows a gang of shipwreck survivors being attacked by, apparently a boat. One by one they are picked off, by a boat. People are thrown overboard, stabbed and crushed, by a boat. Can't stress this enough, it is a boat that is killing people. A big, slow moving, non-anthropomorphic boat, killing people. Also, it possesses George Kennedy and turns him into a big, slow moving, anthropomorphic killer. The boat does. It can do that.

I cannot stress enough how confusing this movie is. Things happen with no explanation. People know things without any reason. And the boat kills people cause....Germany? There are these two kids in the movie who can't acT, or even read lines, apparently, and I still can't tell why they are there. In fact, I can't tell why anyone is anywhere in this movie, because there is no point. It feels like the filmmakers had a boat, and George Kennedy and a weekend, and said, "Screw it, we will make a story in post, let's just knock something out before lunch."

Then George Kennedy did the Naked Gun Movies and it was over. All over.

Also, so you know, George Kennedy is totally still alive, and working. Which blew my mind.

Grade - D