You can check out any time you'd like, but you can't never wait, wrong hotel.


That's why I stopped eating raw chicken and bath salts.


I am 90% sure I saw her profile on OKCupid back in my dating days.


Wait a minute, that's not a wiener dog...what was brought back to life?


"...and that's when the C..H.U.D.'s got me"


Not gonna lie, there are moments where it looks like Schwarzenegger would rather be having The Last Sit Down. Or maybe The Last Nap.


And this is my version of being festive.


So I've reviewed two documentaries so far, one about old guys yelling and one about pro wrestling. What does that say about me? 


For those of you who didn't have the Comedy Channel back in the early 90's, take a good look at that cast list. Now wonder why this is the first you have heard of this movie.


I want you to read that blurb from Fangoria. Now realize that they could have cut it at "Amazing!" but chose not to, I will explain why that is important.