This is a real movie.

Oh Asylum you fill my life with such...emotions. For those of you unfamiliar with The Asylum, it is a production company that specializes in low-budget- coat tail movies. What I mean by that is that when a major blockbuster comes out (say, Transformers) they will rush out a state fair version of the movie (Transmorphers), often times landing it on shelves before the movie hits theaters. Then, not soon after, the movie hits SyFy, and you waste a Saturday watching something terrible because you can't find the remote and are far too lazy to get up and do anything about it.

I love this company. I also hate this company. I love them because they produce a constant steam of crap that keeps me in absolute rapture, and I hate them for exactly the same reason.

Abraham Lincoln Vs. Zombies is the latest blockbuster rip off from the men who brought you such classics as The Day The Earth Stopped, and War of the Worlds 2, and, if you couldn't figure it out, it owes its existence to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, which is a sad way to start your life I imagine...

Bill Oberst Jr plays President Abraham Lincoln, who, for some reason or another, goes off with a band of solders to a Southern Fort where they fight Zombies. There you go, this was a real movie. Can't really stress this enough.

Gentlemen, shit is about to get real.

I guess I should say what this movie did well, and then you can assume everything else was done rather poorly. Oberst brings the thunder as Lincoln, and I am saying that without a trace of humor or sarcasm. Homeboy was fantastic. Like Hall of Presidents fantastic. Everyone else however, not so much. In fact the man who played Stonewall Jackson might have been the worst actor (wearing the least convincing beard) I have ever seen. EVER.

"We are out of spirit we can just use scotch tape" The Costume Director--Probably

You know what? This movie was made on a budget of $150K, which may sound like a lot, but in the world of movies is the equivalent of saying that you made a car for 10 bucks. Sure the script was bad, the acting was amazingly terrible, and the sound was incompetently mixed, but the make up (beard aside) was pretty well done, the lighting was decent, and it was shot fairly well. As I said before, Oberst played Lincoln far better than Ben Walker in Vampire Hunter, and this was surprisingly watchable for an Asylum release.

Wait a few weeks and catch it on SyFy if you can't find the remote.

Grade - C-

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